The Sexual Abuse Scandal: Still Staring Us Right in the Face
+JMJ+ Have you ever stopped and wondered what's happening with the Catholic Church sexual abuse scandal?
It was big news in Boston when the Spotlight Team broke their story in 2002. It was big news again when the Pennsylvania Grand Jury Report was released in 2018. For awhile, the sexual abuse plaguing the Catholic Church was all we heard about (or so it seemed). We were all angry (righteously so), frustrated, shouting for resignations, praying and pushing for reform, and talking about how we could best support survivors.
Time marched on. Even so, when the news broke out of Pennsylvania in the summer of 2018, many of us were determined to not let the scandal get pushed onto the backburner just like it did after 2002. We were determined that this time would be different. This time, we would fight for real change. We promised to fight for justice. We promised to fight for survivors. We promised that we would not be silent. There was an intense spiritual sort of fire and vigor I saw among faithful Catholics that I had never seen before as we vowed to fight for renewal.
The hype went on for awhile. Then, 2020 hit. COVID happened. Politics took over. Other issues came into the spotlight. Unless I’m missing something, it would seem at first glance that the sexual abuse scandal is once again on the back burner. As I scroll through the news and various social media sites, I see little mentioned about the scandal except for an occasional article and of course there are a few websites dedicated to bringing the truth out. Well, despite all our promises and spiritual vigor, I guess the sexual abuse scandal is not the hot topic anymore. This is one of the many issues with the media. A big deal is made of an issue for awhile, people get tired of it, and we move on to the next big thing.
So, if we're not hearing about it as directly as we were in the past, is it really over? After all, the McCarrick report was released last year as promised. So is it time to move on?
The silence is exactly what abuse survivors have feared and exactly what the corrupt priests, bishops, and cardinals hoped for. They hoped the day would come that the scandal would die away. That time seems to have, once again, come. Sexual abuse has taken a back seat to other issues (and I am not for a moment suggesting that some of these issues are not of vital importance) and has been set aside, at least for the moment and until more sensational news regarding the issue breaks. When that happens, then we can be assured that we'll be hearing about it all over again.
Do we have to talk about sexual abuse or the scandal 24/7? Of course not. Do we constantly need to be reminded of it? I don't think so.
But how easily we forget! How easily we are distracted! Should we so easily stand by while certain individuals continue to protect perpetrators and hide the truth? Should we so easily forget the innocent?
I have spoken many times about my meeting with Pope Benedict XVI in 2008, including the book of names that he was presented with at that meeting This book contained the names of over 1,400 (known) cases of clerical abuse in the Archdiocese of Boston alone. When the Holy Father saw the sheer number of names, he appeared to be deeply moved and taken aback to the point that tears welled up in his eyes. That book helped to humanize this crisis that has far surpassed what we ever thought possible. Seeing those names helped Pope Benedict to, in a way, recognize the scope of the problem and to remind him that these “sexual abuse victims” were real people with real lives that were so profoundly affected.
Little crosses were put next to the names of the victims who had died. One of the difficult things to grasp is that many of these victims died due to overdose, substance abuse, or suicide. These are the forgotten victims. These are the victims who had little to no support, whose pain ran so deep that they turned to unhealthy things to help them cope but of course drugs and alcohol are only a momentary fix and only serve to mask the problem. In the end, many of these men and women just couldn't cope and, as a result, they are no longer here with us. You can be sure that all the men and women who hid the abuse and enabled the abusers wouldn’t give a darn about any of those victims. Those deaths just mean that there’s one less person to openly share their story and bring the truth out into the open.
Only God knows how many other survivors have remained silent. Only God knows how many have been shamed into silence and even threatened into silence. What a sobering thought! Too many survivors of abuse live in silence, sometimes bringing their secrets to the grave. And we continue to hear the sound of crickets from many members of the church. For awhile, the sexual abuse scandal was all over the news, it was on everyone's mind and in everyone's prayers. So what happened?
How easily we forget! How easily we are caught up in the latest, hottest story! How easily we tend to ignore the things we least want to think about! Let’s be honest. Who really wants to talk about sexual abuse? Who wants to truly face the sexual, physical, mental, spiritual, and even satanic abuses by wolves in sheep's clothing? Who really wants to face the fact that so many organizations are wreaking with corruption and so much evil is hidden? These are not pretty subjects.
Unfortunately, survivors like me don't have the luxury of forgetting and moving onto the next big topic of the day. My past is something I have to live with every single day. I have come a very long way in my healing, unfortunately more so than some of the survivors I have been communicated with. As a survivor, you wake up everyday and choose to not let your past control your life. Every single day you choose to live in hope rather than despair. Daily, I have to choose faith over fear. It is not without effort. It’s not without pain and frustration. It's not without occasional doubts. It’s not without so much grace!
Do you know who else are often forgotten? Do you know who else needs to choose to move forward even if they haven’t been victimized in the same way? Parents, spouses, friends of survivors, and good and holy priests and bishops who are striving for holiness and truth (the priesthood seems forever marred). All Catholics have, in one way or another, been betrayed and affected by this scandal. There are so many victims of this scandal and it’s not just the individuals who have been physically assaulted. Let’s face it, though. Survivors bear the brunt of the pain.
We can’t forget. We need to fight for answers. We need to fight for the truth. We need to fight the corruption that has been allowed to infiltrate, not only the Catholic Church, but everywhere from homes to schools to Hollywood, politics, businesses, sports, etc. We need to stop enabling abuse by our silence! We need to stop enabling corrupt individuals, priests, bishops, and cardinals whose actions (or lack there-of) will surely drag many souls to hell with them. To whom much is given, much is expected.
So, why remain a practicing Catholic at all? Personally, I remain Catholic for Jesus and Jesus alone. His love and grace sustain me. No matter how angry I am at the corruption and the silence, nothing can make me turn away from the reasons I am Catholic in the first place. I refuse to abandon my beloved Church. I refuse to abandon what is good, holy, and sacred. In the words of the great Fulton Sheen, “Judge the Catholic Church not by those who barely live by its spirit, but by the example of those who live closest to it.”
I won't judge the Church by those who sit by in cowardly silence, adhering only to the latest trends laid out by the secular world. I won't judge the Church based on the Judases. It should come as no surprise that the Catholics who make the mainstream news these days and who are shown in a good light are those whose views and opinions are in alignment with the secular world surrounding us.
Christians are listened to only when their views are in alignment with the current trends of the secular world.
How did we get to this point?
The reality is that the church is run by human beings and sometimes, in their weakness, they fail. Unfortunately, as they sink deeper into the dark abyss, they bring down many souls with them. This is why it is vitally important that Catholics never stop learning about their faith and the teachings that the Church holds sacred.
At the moment, the sexual abuse scandal doesn't fit the media's overall agenda. There are bigger, juicier, more exciting things on the horizon. Unfortunately, though, I feel I have to mention here that the media seems to get far too much enjoyment from "juicing up" stories of other people's misfortunes instead of just relaying the facts. There is no need to sensationalize someone's story of abuse in order to gain more readers or sell stories. That is toxic and so harmful to survivors and their loved ones. I am not in any way suggesting that the media "create" stories (where there really are none) in order to keep attention on helping survivors and combatting corruption.
Still, I will not leave. I will not abandon Christ's Church.
“Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life; and we have believed, and have come to know, that you are the Holy One of God.” (John 6:67-69)
None of us should be be silent about the things that require change for the simple reason that we are called to love one another. When you love someone, you speak up! Although I don't always love the actions of some of its members, I also love my Catholic Church despite the flaws of its members and I love my Faith. Each of us needs to choose whether we will be part of the solution or part of the problem. We all need to choose whether or not we reach out to those who are alone and suffering, whether we support the good and holy leaders, and whether we stay close to Christ and trust Him through it all. I am deeply grateful to those among us who have not remained silent and who continue to fight for truth and justice.
If you are like me and wondering what happened with the sexual abuse scandal, it is absolutely still there. It's staring us right in the face. As much as certain leaders and certain media outlets might want us to believe that it's over with, it never went away. Healing will never be allowed to take place unless we stop the silence and fight against the evil. The state of things will not improve until we rid the Church of filth and the wolves in sheep's clothing.
To remain in silence is a betrayal of all survivors and of Our Lord.
This world needs to turn back to God and the Catholic Church needs a deep purging. We need to clean house and rid it of the filth and darkness.
The silence needs to stop.
Earlier, I mentioned the men and women with crosses next to their names in the book given to Pope Benedict XVI. I want to reiterate that many of those individuals died due to suicide, drug overdose, and substance abuse.
Suicide is an uncomfortable, difficult topic and very personal for many of us. Like the topic of sexual abuse, suicide is one of those issues that is often cast to the side due to the discomfort it brings. However, mental illness is very real and can affect anybody - it could be the person right next to us and we might never know, let alone suspect, that anything is wrong.
I once came very close to taking my own life once and I will never forget the intense feelings of darkness, despair, and pain that got me to that point. A few close friends also committed suicide and my heart still breaks for them (how much pain they must have been in to get to that point!) and for the families they left behind.
I want to encourage you to reach out for help if you or a loved one is struggling. Even if you are not someone in either of those categories, please do whatever you can to support those who are having a hard time. Something we can ALL do is pray for those who are struggling.
I want you to know that you can get through those hard times and you don't have to do it alone.
Please reach out to someone if you are struggling!
You are precious. You are loved. Your life matters.
National Suicide Prevention Hotline
800-273-8255