Announcing the Title of my Book
Can you believe it's already September? This year has flown by so fast! Almost a year has gone by since my story was brought to the attention of Our Sunday Visitor (no small thanks to my sweet sister in Christ, EWTN's Teresa Tomeo) and I want to share some exciting updates!
I don't think I will ever forget the day (the week before Holy Week) my wonderful agent called to tell me the news that Our Sunday Visitor had accepted my book proposal for a devotional geared towards survivors of sexual abuse. There are still moments when I find myself in utter disbelief that God put me (of all people) on this path. Well, after all these months I submitted my manuscript! Glory to the Lamb! Coincidentally, I emailed it to my editor on the Feast of the Queenship of Mary. The Blessed Mother has certainly been helping to hold me up during this time.
So much has happened while I've been writing. This has been a time of tremendous spiritual growth for me but also a time of unexpected hardships. My faith has been tested, my anxiety through the roof at times, and I have been plagued with thoughts of, "Maybe I'm not meant to do this...this book will never be good enough. It will never help anyone."
The devil delights in making us believe his lies. The inner torment reached a peak this past June when I suffered an episode of ventricular tachycardia (you can read about this frightening and life-changing experience in my blog post entitled "Holding Onto Hope in My Heart") . My ICD delivered a shock, saving my life. Clearly, God wasn't done with me yet! While I was tempted for a time to believe that perhaps this was some sort of sign that I should abandon my writing, I received guidance from some very wise individuals who encouraged me to keep going and to ask for God's grace to (if it be His will) use this near-death experience as a chance for first-hand evangelization and to allow my own grief to fuel my writing. I slowly came to the realization that God is in control of all of this (my life, this book, and everything else) and it is only through His srength that anyone could possibly write anything like this.
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."
I have spent a lot of time writing but, more than anything, I've spent a lot of time in prayer and reflection. My prayer went from, “Jesus, help me do this,” to "Jesus, if it be your will, please speak through me. You do the thinking and the talking and I'll do the typing." I love St. Mother Teresa's quote about being God's pencil. “I am a little pencil in God's hands,” she said. “He does the thinking. He does the writing. He does everything and sometimes it is really hard because it is a broken pencil and He has to sharpen it a little more.”
Everything seemed pretty straightforward and simple in the proposal – doing the actual writing and allowing myself to be led through the motions of grief following abuse has been more difficult and more intense than I could have ever imagined. However, through God's loving grace and mercy, He has willed me to keep going and I have done my best to keep my heart open to the promptings of the Holy Spirit. Never in my life have I said, “Lord, take care of me,” more than in these last few months! I am thrilled to be able to share my *BRAND NEW* website and blog with you and am so excited to be able to share the title of my book:
Glimmers of Grace: Finding Peace and Healing After Sexual Abuse
I am looking forward to sharing more details about this devotional over the coming months so stay tuned for more information and updates! Please pray for me and for the wonderful people at Our Sunday Visitor as the editing process begins.