When Faith Hurts but Still Holds

+JMJ+ To anyone out there searching for faith or returning to it after years away, this is for you.

Maybe you’ve been hurt. Maybe you're the one who has hurt others. Maybe you’re looking for a certain feeling, a place that feels right, or people you can connect with. Maybe you’re wondering if it’s even worth it to try (or to try again).

As a Catholic, I know I have found my home. My faith is my greatest treasure. At times, continuing to practice it has also been my greatest cross. I have learned that my faith is not always what I feel. It’s not always who’s preaching from the pulpit or who’s sitting beside me in the pews. Sometimes, it’s not even what I understand or can explain.

What Faith Really Is

Faith is something much deeper.

It’s a relationship, one that builds slowly and often quietly. Our faith is like any relationship worth keeping. It needs time, care, and tending. It requires us to keep showing up even during times when we feel weak, frustrated, alone, or annoyed. It means trusting in the grace and mercy of God even when we’re hurt or when we do the hurting.

Faith allows us to hold onto hope. It teaches us how to truly love, not just when it’s easy, but when it’s real and costly. Faith stays with us when everything else is taken away. When we have nothing left (no security, no human approval, no answers), faith remains.

In faith, we find something the world cannot offer us: true freedom. We find joy, peace, mercy, and forgiveness. We find everything we desire, often without even realizing we were missing it.

The Courage to Keep Going

Faith is about surrender. It’s about trusting in God so deeply that we know we can offer Him everything—the good, the bad, and everything in between. God never promised us easy lives. But He did promise His grace and presence. He gave us Someone to turn to. And in this journey of faith, He meets us in the most unexpected ways—through Scripture, through the sacraments, through silence, through suffering, and sometimes through the people and situations we least expect.

Truly living with faith also means facing the hard stuff and living with integrity. Being a person of faith comes with responsibility. It means going against the grain, speaking up even when we don’t want to or even when it means standing up to someone we care about for what’s right.

The Humility of Faith

Faith humbles us. It brings us to our knees with the realization that there is something—someone—far greater than us. It’s humbling to realize we can’t do it all on our own. We aren’t the superheroes we’d like to think we are.

When we attribute every success, every gift, every good thing to ourselves, that’s not faith. That’s pride. That’s giving in to our human weakness. And yes, most of us have been there at one time or another. It takes great strength and humility to admit that, so if you’re there, God is already working. Praise God for working in you! Praise God for opening your eyes, your mind, and your heart!

And if you’re not quite there yet? That’s okay. Keep going!

The Fire of Faith

Faith isn’t about living a perfect life. We’re all flawed. It’s not about avoiding the hard stuff or walking around in a sugar-coated version of reality filled with flowers and sunshine. True faith requires us to face life as it is including grief, injustice, frustration, and our own faults. It doesn’t mean obsessing over the bad, but learning to acknowledge it, bring it to God, and live with a deeper trust in His goodness.

Faith won’t always make you feel good, and it certainly won’t always be easy. Just look at the lives of the saints, especially the martyrs. Faith will give you strength. It will give you the grace to keep going.

Faith isn’t about smiling through everything or pretending everything’s okay (though I will say that smiling is a wonderful thing to practice as often as possible!). It’s about choosing joy when the going gets rough. It’s about holding onto peace when everything around you feels like chaos.

If you’ve ever met someone who quietly radiates something you can’t quite explain—something different, something steady—that’s often what you’re seeing. That’s the fire of faith. That’s God.

You Are Never Alone

When we embark on a journey of faith, a candle within us is lit. That light grows gradually, sometimes becoming a burning flame. Other times, it flickers. It may even feel like it’s about to go out. That doesn’t mean God has left us. He is always with us. No matter what. We are not alone. God never abandons us.

We also have a Heavenly Mother who walks with us. Remember, Mary is not a replacement for her Son. We aren’t called to worship her (contrary to what some people believe). Her whole purpose is to lead us closer to Him. And what a gift she is! What a perfect mother. If Jesus loves her so deeply, shouldn’t we?

Mary loves each and every one of us with a mother’s heart. She wants nothing more than to help us grow closer to the heart of her Son.

Keep Going

So, if you’re just beginning your journey of faith… whether you’re finding your way back after time away… or if you’re wrestling with doubts or wounds… or if you’re longing to go deeper…

Keep going. You’re not alone. God is not done with you yet. He’s got big plans for you, and He will give you the gifts you need to persevere.

Lord, I come to You just as I am. I bring my doubts, my wounds, my hopes, and my desire to believe. Teach me to trust You even when I don’t feel You. Light the flame of faith within me and help it grow. Be my strength when I am weak, my peace when I am restless, and my joy even in sorrow. Even when I cannot find the words, let Your Mother take my hand and lead me to You. Amen.

Reflection Questions:

1. What experiences (good and bad) or what people have helped shape my view of faith?

2. Do I base my faith more on feelings or on building a personal relationship with God? How can I deepen that relationship?

3. In what areas of my life is God inviting me to surrender and trust Him more?

4. When has Mary’s presence brought comfort or guidance in my spiritual life?

5. What small step can I take today to rekindle the flame of faith within me?

6. How can I share that flame of faith with others in my day-to-day life?

Let’s lift one another up in prayer, especially those who are searching for faith or finding their way back. May they know they are not alone and that God is gently guiding them every step of the way.